ALWAYZFUN: 12/01/2008

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Cute cubs

Monday, December 29, 2008

31 Ways to Praise God !!!!!!!!!!!!!

God the Creator

"Creator God, I praise you because you made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you'. . . . " (Nehemiah 9:6).
The Only God "God, I praise you because you are the LORD, and there is no other; apart from you there is no God. . . ." (Isaiah 45:5).

The Almighty God
"O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD," and I praise you . . . ." (Psalm 89:8).

The Everlasting Father, the Ancient of Days
"I praise you, Lord, as the Ancient of Days (Daniel 7:9), the Everlasting Father (Isaiah 9:6), who lives forever and ever. . . ."

A Loving God
"I praise you because you are a loving God, whose very nature is love. . . ." (1 John 4:16).

A God of Justice
"Lord, I praise and magnify you, who is just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. . . ." (Romans 3:26).

The Trustworthy God
"Heavenly Father, I give you my praise and adoration, because you are a "faithful God, keeping [your] covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love [you] and keep [your] commands. . . ." (Deuteronomy 7:9).

A Merciful God
"You, O Lord, are a gracious and merciful God," (Nehemiah 9:31), and I praise you for your great mercy. . . ."

God my Refuge, my Fortress
"I praise you, Lord, for you are my mighty rock, my refuge. . . .'" (Psalm 62:7).
A Longsuffering, Persevering God
"Father, I praise you because you are patient with [all your children], not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance' (2 Peter 3:9). Thank you for your patience with me.

. . ."
The Only Wise God

"I give praise to you, my Father, the only wise God [my] Saviour' (Jude 1:25). May all glory and majesty, dominion and power, be yours both now and ever. . . ."
The Holy One
"Holy, holy, holy are you, Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come. . . ." (Revelation 4:8).

A Personal God
"I praise you, God, because you are a personal God, who gives me the honor of knowing you personally, just like you did to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. . . ." (Matthew 8:11).

A Giving God
"Praise and honor be yours, O God, because you are a generous God, who did not even stop short of giving your own Son (John 3:16). . . ."

The Provider God
"I praise you today, Lord, as my Jehovah-jireh, who will generously provide all [I] need'. . . ." (2 Corinthians 9:7).

The Shepherd God
"I bless your name and praise you as my Jehovah-rohi, who will shepherd me and guide me in the paths of righteousness for your name's sake" (Psalm 23:1-3).

God my Victory
"Praise to you, my God, because you are my Jehovah-nissi, God my victory, who always leads [me] in triumphal procession in Christ'. . . ." (2 Corinthians 2:14).

God my Peace
"I praise you with all my heart, Lord, because you are my Jehovah-shalom, the God of peace [who] will soon crush Satan under [my] feet. . . ." (Romans 16:20).

The God Who Heals
"Father, I praise you because you are the Lord who heals me. . . ." (Exodus 15:26).

The God of All Comfort
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. . . ." (2 Corinthians 1:3).

The God of Miracles
"Lord, I praise you because You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the people'. . . ." (Psalm 77:14).

A Forgiving God
"I want to bless you with my praise, Father, because you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love'. . . ." (Nehemiah 9:17)

The Burden-Bearer
"Praise be to the LORD, to God [my] Savior, who daily bears [my] burdens'. . . ." (Psalm 68:19).

A Faithful God
"I praise you because your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies'. . . Great is your faithfulness'. . . ." (Psalm 36:5; Lamentations 3:23).
God the Blessed and Only Ruler, King of kings and Lord of lords
"All honor and praise be to you, my God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords'. . . ." (1 Timothy 6:15).

God the Liberator
"I praise you because You are my help and my deliverer; O LORD'. . . ." (Psalm 70:5).

The Lifter of My Head
"Father God, I praise you because you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head' when I am weary or depressed. . . ." (Psalm 3:3).

A God of Light
"I praise you, Lord, because you are my light and my salvation,' and because you know what lies in darkness, and light dwells with you'. . . ." (Psalm 27:1, Daniel 2:22).

A God of Joy
"I give you my praise, O Lord, because you have granted [me] eternal blessings and made me glad with the joy of your presence'. . . ." (Psalm 21:6).

The God Who Answers Prayer
"I praise and honor you, Father, because you are a God who loves to answer prayer, and who begins to answer even before I begin to pray" (Isaiah 65:24).

The God of All the Earth
"I praise and adore you, Lord, as the Holy One of Israel. . . [my] Redeemer. . . the God of all the earth'. . . ." (Isaiah 54:5).

Should You Be on Facebook?

Social-networking sites are all but putting business-card printers out of business. Instead of trading a 3.5 x 2-inch piece of paper, people are trading names and tracking one another down on sites such as LinkedIn and Facebook. While LinkedIn has a decidedly professional bent, Facebook can be a much more intimate look into one's personal life and inner circle of friends. Still, a lot of folks are on Facebook and use it as a professional networking tool. But is it right for you?

Because Facebook makes it easy to blur the lines between the professional and personal, most experts caution against this, unless, perhaps, you work in the entertainment industry. "When you think about Facebook and other social-networking sites, you have got to think about these profiles as an addendum to your resume," says Lauren Milligan, founder of ResuMAYDAY.com.
Daisy L. Swan, of Daisy Swan & Associates, agrees, "Now that there are so many people who are going to be looking for new positions, it's good to be able to be found -- so long as you're presenting yourself as the professional you want to be."

Here are some tips to put your best face forward on Facebook:

1. Keep it strictly professional. Career strategist Swan says, "Have a consistent message," meaning if you're marketing yourself as a top accountant, make sure your Facebook profile reflects that image. Milligan tells users, "Keep the social aspect separate. I've had clients who've been way too attached to their Facebook pages and all the personal content on there, but I ask them, 'What's your priority? Finding a job or revealing all?'"

2. Mind your status. Your status can be used for more than goofy one-liners. Swan, for instance, shares, "You can use your status to let people know about additional projects you're working on, which sends a message that you're more than just what you do at work every day." Also, if you friend your coworkers on Facebook, make sure you don't accidentally throw yourself under the bus by revealing you weren't really sick when you called in sick to work, as one Facebook user learned (see related incident on Shamebox blog).

3. Choose your friends and your groups carefully. Whom you friend and the groups you join are a reflection of who you are. Think through the requests you accept and the company you keep on Facebook as potential employers may take those things into account. One group of Virgin Atlantic employees recently started a Facebook group in which they openly traded insults and complaints about customers and colleagues -- and 13 of those workers were fired. Resume and career expert Milligan reminds users, "If you're an employee, you have to be considered an advocate of your employer at all times."

4. Mind your identity. Another plus of keeping your privacy settings high or, ideally, keeping your profile strictly professional, is that you're less likely to divulge personal information that could leave you at risk of identity theft. Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's personal email account was famously hacked by someone who successfully guessed the answers to her security questions. Avoid divulging your pets' names, your mom's maiden name, and other details that could leave you vulnerable to fraud by including only professional details on any social-networking site.

5. Don't get sucked in. Swan, whose practice is based in Los Angeles, says, "I've been hearing that entrepreneurs are getting a lot of encouragement to be on Facebook and they're marketing full force that way. But it's not the be-all, end-all solution for marketing. It may have some value toward your bottom line, but it may not if you're spending too much time on it. Check your return on investment."

Milligan adds, "It cannot be your priority. The time you spend on it cannot infringe on your professional life."

As recruiters and companies look to Facebook as an additional source of finding new talent, it behooves you to at least be familiar with such sites. Swan states, "In terms of new partnerships and for job-search purposes, it can be a great networking tool to let people know about you, and it's a great way to learn about people and companies and options. Just be sure to use these sites in a savvy manner to your benefit."

Milligan warns, "If job-search tools will be available, if that is the conduit between you and a job, you'd better be professional."

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Kids New Year Resolutions

Preschoolers

I will clean up my toys.
I will brush my teeth twice a day, and wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.
I won't tease dogs - even friendly ones. I will avoid being bitten by keeping my fingers and face away from their mouths.

School Age Kids

I will drink milk and water, and limit soda and fruit drinks.
I will apply sunscreen before I go outdoors. I will try to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat and sunglasses, especially when I'm playing sports.
I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer) or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike) that I like and do it at least three times a week!
I will always wear a helmet when bicycling.
I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car. I'll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.
I'll be nice to other kids. I'll be friendly to kids who need friends - like someone who is shy, or is new to my school.
I'll never give out personal information such as my name, home address, school name or telephone number on the Internet. Also, I'll never send a picture of myself to someone I chat with on the computer without my parent's permission.

Teens

I will eat at least one fruit and one vegetable every day, and I will limit the amount of soda I drink.
I will take care of my body through physical activity and nutrition.
I will choose non-violent television shows and video games, and I will spend only one to two hours each day - at the most - on these activities.
I will help out in my community - through volunteering, working with community groups or by joining a group that helps people in need.
I will wipe negative "self talk" (i.e. "I can't do it" or "I'm so dumb") out of my vocabulary.
When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break and find constructive ways to deal with the stress, such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or discussing my problem with a parent or friend.
When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk with an adult about my choices.
I will be careful about whom I choose to date, and always treat the other person with respect and without coercion or violence.
I will resist peer pressure to try drugs and alcohol.

Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

New Year's Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It's a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to follow through on those changes. Did your New Year resolutions make our top ten list?

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
2. Fit in Fitness

3. Tame the Bulge

4. Quit Smoking

5. Enjoy Life More

6. Quit Drinking

7. Get Out of Debt

8. Learn Something New

9. Help Others

10. Get Organized

Which is your resolution for the coming year 2009 ?Any resolution for the top 10 list ? Hmmm have you made up your list of resolutions.

I feel spend more time with God should be on the top of the list .

Remedy For Fat Thighs

Exercise For Fat Thighs -

1: Lay on your back on a carpeted floor with your hands behind your head. Put your feet on a bench or chair such that upper legs make a 90 degree angle. Lift your upper back off of the ground and contract your abdominal part.

2: Lay on your back on a flat surface on a floor mat with your hands on sides of your back. Move your legs as if you are cycling. Do it for 5 minutes daily.

3.Follow a negative calorie food diet.

4.Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, wholegrain bread, pasta, rice, beans and cereal without any oily toppings. Choose low fat or fat free varieties.

5.Flax seed oil and Evening Primrose oil are available as fat burning supplements.

Childhood Obesity, Teen & Toddler Obesity

International Epidemic of Childhood ObesityOne in every 5 children in USA is overweight while every 4th child is overweight in Australia. In USA, prevalence of obese children (Ages 6 to 11) at the 95th percentile of Body Mass Index (BMI) in 1999 to 2000 was 15.3%. If the parents do not control, this number of childhood obesity, teen obesity and overweight children will grow significantly in near future.

Obese Kids Risk Thyroid DamageObese children may be damaging their thyroids, creating a vicious cycle of metabolism and overweight, Italian researchers Giorgio Radetti of the Regional Hospital of Bolzano reported on 4 Dec 2008. According to Radetti, the obesity may cause inflammation damaging the thyroid. The researchers found an association between body mass index and thyroid hormone levels.

Definition of Obesity in Children & ToddlersThe overweight children are those who weigh 20 percent more than their ideal weight. The obese children are those who weigh 40 percent or more above their ideal weight.

The vulnerable period to start excess weight gain in toddlers is 3 and 4 years of their age. So the children of this age must get an hour of active play each day along with five fruits and vegetables, according to Dr. Stephen Daniels of Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center.

Percentile of Body Mass Index (BMI) is used to identify overweight and obesity in children and adolescents. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) suggest two levels of overweight: (a) the 85th percentile (BMI of 25), an "at risk" or reference level, and (b) the 95th percentile (BMI of 25), the obesity level. Note that the 95th percentile corresponds to a BMI of 30, which is considered obesity in adults.

The Causes of Obesity

The main causes of children becoming overweight (i.e. childhood obesity and teenage obesity) are lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating habits, genetic reasons, or a combination of these. Obesity develops when the energy intake exceeds energy expenditure from physical activity.
With the advent of electronic revolution, children and teens now remain glued to TVs, electronic games, videos, and DVDs for most of the time and devote little time in outdoor activities. Along with this they eat a lot of junk foods loaded with fat, cholesterol, and sugar. This a very good recipe for gaining weight.

The Journal of Law and Economics reports in November 2008 that banning fast food advertisements from children’s television programs would reduce the number of overweight children in the US by 18% and decrease the number of overweight teens by 14%.

Only 2 hours are recommenced for a child to watch TV each day. Two recent studies reported in the Journal of Pediatrics (2005) reported that every extra hour of weekend TV at age 5 increased by 7% the chances of being obese at age 30. Also 11 year old girls who watched TV more than 2 hours in a day were more than twice as likely to be overweight as girls who watched less.

The Baby body mass index value can help you determine if your child is overweight.
USDA in April 2005 released it's interactive dietary guidelines, Mypyramid based on a new food pyramid. The old food pyramid recommended one food size for all people without consideration on exercise, so many children today are faced with weight problems.

How much fat for Children and adolescents?Keep total fat intake between 30 to 35 percent of calories for children 2 to 3 years of age and between 25 to 35 percent of calories for children and adolescents 4 to 18 years of age, with most fats coming from sources of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fatty acids, such as fish, nuts, and vegetable oils.
Limit on ghee which is high in saturated fat.

Obesity Facts on Child ObesityA study (2005) on feeding Infants & Toddlers by Gerber Products Co, Mathematica Policy Research Inc. revealed that the eating habits that are fueling an epidemic of obesity are starting in the crib. Note what US infants and toddlers eat daily.

2009 Award Winners -Best Cars for the Money

Toyota Camry

Best Midsize Car for the Money
Honda Fit

Best Subcompact Car for the Money

Mazda Mazda5

Best Compact Crossover for the Money

Hyundai Elantra

Best Compact Car for the Money

Toyota Highlander

Best Midsize Crossover for the Money

Lexus RX

Best Luxury Crossover for the Money

Chevrolet Tahoe

Best Full Size SUV for the Money

Mazda Miata

Best Sports Car for the Money

Lexus GS

Best Luxury Car for the Money

Toyota Tacoma

Best Compact Truck for the Money

Chevy Silverado

Best Full Size Truck for the Money

Toyota Sienna

Best Minivan for the Money

Toyota Avalon

Best Large Car for the Money

Lexus ES

Best Upscale Car for the Money

Friday, December 26, 2008

Pomegranate for Heart

The plump red seeds of pomegranate are rich in poly-phenols, which are antioxidants. They also contain lots of Vitamin C and potassium. The recent research has shown that pomegranate can lower the blood pressure by 5% in people with hypertension and lessen damage by LDL cholesterol on artery walls. Recent study also shows that one cup of pomegranate juice a day for three months improved blood floe to the heart in people with coronary heart disease.

Worst 2008 Celeb hairstyles

It’s only natural that we look to celebrities for inspiration for our own hairstyle. While we have the likes of Victoria Beckham who creates a look that’s guaranteed to be ‘the hairstyle’ of the season, there are those who fall short of some hairstyle sense, despite fame and wealth. A new UK survey, taken by over 2000 women, has named and shamed the 10 Celebrity Worst Hair of 2008 : 1.Amy Winehouse – I remember the 60s beehive look was in last year but top that with heavy make-up, a scrawny figure and a constantly spaced-out look and you have yourself a scary-looking scarecrow straight out of a Tim Burton film.

Shea Butter- The Gold Of The Beauty Industry

Shea butter is one of the most affective natural moisturises. It is used in soaps, balms, creams, lotions and hair conditioners (adds and maintains moisture in dry brittle hair giving it a softer appearance). Shea butter absorbs rapidly into the skin without leaving a greasy feeling. Shea butter is also rich in vitamins A and E. (Vitamin A promotes enzyme activity in the skin, thickens the epidermis and helps skin cells reguvenate in a healthier way. Vitamin E is a natural anti-oxidant that slows down the signe of ageing and the degeneration of skin cells. Reduces fine lines and wrinkles and soothes the irritaion of dry skin).

Shea butter also has remarkable healing qualities. It is known to be effective in the treatment of scars, wrinkles, very dry skin, stretchmarks, eczema, chapped lips, rashes, acne, blemishes and fading scars. This natural ingredient also contains cinnamic acid, which provides natural protection against the sun’s damaging ultraviolet rays.

BIO: Marie Otty is the founder of Essential Stuff, a natural skin care business. All products are handcrafted, 100% vegan and accredited by Choose Cruelty Free. The Essential Stuff range includes Body Butter, Body Mousse, Gardeners Hand Balm, Lip Balm, baby products and more. For more information on the Essential Stuff range please visit http://www.essentialstuff.com.au/

In the name of Islam

This was sent to me in an email forward and to be honest I was sickened if this is what it is supposed to be. I feel very guilty because my insane mind actually aksed myself the question "will he ever steal again?". The more I thought about it I came to the conclusion I would consider killing anyone who used this as punishment on any child in front of me. Be warned: Images may upset you.MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US!!!

No religion can ever justify such hideous crimes. I wanted to know if this was accurate and not some acted shock video and searched the website - www.metacafe.com and this is a site similar to You Tube. I could find no further information.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Birth Of Jesus

Matthew 2:1-11
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, 'Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.' When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. 'In Bethlehem in Judea,' they replied, 'for this is what the prophet has written: ' 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'' Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, 'Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.' After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.

Merry Christmas

Wish you all a Merry Christmas.

May the peace of the Lord be with you all.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Merupula Song copied from ????

Merupula song from CHINTAKAYALA RAVI

Fanna - mere Haath Mein Tere - Hindi

Bush - Shoe Jokes as the world continues to Laugh

"George Bush is over there in Baghdad saying goodbye to the troops, and this Iraqi journalist heaves a couple shoes at the President. And we thought, hopefully that's just a one-of-a-kind episode. Unfortunately, however, the news coming out of the Middle East is that Iran is developing a long-range loafer." --David Letterman

"People are still discussing the shoe-throwing incident at our president. ... It was reported today that the Iraqi journalist who threw the shoes at President Bush had his arm broken when security subdued him. And even worse, it was his shoe-throwing arm. That guy is out for the season." --Conan O'Brien

[br "President Bush announced before he leaves office, he wants to visit the poorest regions of the world. You know, any place where people can't afford to buy shoes." --Jay Leno

"That Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush the other day said he planned his attack for months. Planned it for months? That's what he said! I mean, take off one shoe. You throw it. You throw the other shoe. He planned it for months. And he still missed both times!" --Jay Leno

[br "The guy is being called a hero in the Arab world. So, he has this plan and it's a failure. And he's a hero. You know, if that's the standard, Bush would be the biggest hero in the Arab world." --Jay Leno

[br "Today, President Bush told reporters that the shoe-throwing incident was one of the weirdest moments of his presidency. Yeah, Bush said the only thing weirder was the time he got re-elected." --Conan O'Brien

"Have you watched this tape? Some people are criticizing the Secret Service, because the shoe thrower caught them off guard. The man was able to throw a second shoe. A spokesman for the Secret Service said, 'Sorry, but we were laughing our asses off.'" –Conan O'Brien

"This is the country we thought had nuclear weapons. It turns out they have a pair of size 9 Hush Puppies instead." --Jimmy Kimmel "

It's not just President Bush, today somebody threw a pair of shoes at Sarah Palin. And she was very upset. She said, 'Do you have these in black?' and threw them back." --Jay Leno "

I've got to give President Bush credit for this, because he's taking it all pretty well. He says that he's actually happy about the shoe-throwing episode, because he says it proves finally that Iraq does, in fact, possess foot wear of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"It turns out this guy was described as a hot head. He's a guy who is an Iraqi journalist. They say he's a hot head with poor journalistic skills. Well, no surprise, today he was offered his own show on Fox News." --David Letterman "Well, folks, looks like we finally found something President Bush is good at. Dodgeball!" --Jay Leno

"As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a 'shoe-icide' bomber. President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq when a journalist threw two shoes at him [on screen: the video of Bush having shoes thrown at him].

You see what President Bush did? You see what he did to keep from being hit? Something he's never done before. Lean to the left. He's never done that." --Jay Leno

"You got to admit, whatever you think of the guy, he's got good reflexes. Even Bill Clinton was impressed. You know, Clinton's an expert at ducking shoes, ashtrays, lamps. Everything." --Jay Leno "

Now, here's my question, and no offense here, but where was the Secret Service? I mean, shouldn't they at least have jumped in front of the second shoe? I mean, you know what I'm saying? Come on. Seriously. Aren't these guys supposed to take a bullet for the president?" --Jay Leno "

See, that's when Bush realized he was on his way out, when the Secret Service are going, 'Yeah, we're guarding the new guy now.'" --Jay Leno

"Well, here's my favorite part. Cable news just over-thinks this. On CNN, they brought in an expert on Iraqi culture. And he said, 'Let me clarify what happened here.' He said, 'In the Arab world, throwing your shoes at someone's head is considered an insult.' Oh, really? As opposed to here in America, where it's a huge compliment." --Jay Leno

"Well, the interesting thing was the journalist who threw the shoe was immediately arrested, and then offered his own show on MSNBC." --Jay Leno

"Bush is in Baghdad, he's having a press conference, and a guy, a reporter from Iraq jumps up and starts heaving shoes at the guy. And in Iraqi, or Arabic, he starts screaming, 'Here's your farewell kiss, you dog!' That's what the guy says. I mean, it was the same goodbye I got from NBC." --David Letterman

"Right now, they're trying to find out, they arrested the guy, trying to find out if he's a Shoe-ni or a Shoe-ite. But it's the same old story. You hear this over and over again, a guy, this crazy guy, goes into a Payless store, he purchases a pair of Rockport shoes, and they didn't even do a background check on him." --David Letterman

"You've got to give Bush credit. I mean, the guy moved pretty quickly. ... Too bad he didn't react that way with bin Laden or Katrina, bin Laden or the mortgage crisis, bin Laden or Afghanistan, bin Laden or the Lehman Brothers." --David Letterman

I don't think Bush really has dodged anything like that, well, since the Vietnam War." --David Letterman "Yesterday, at a press conference in Baghdad, an angry Iraqi threw his shoes at President Bush's head. Yeah, when he saw the shoes, President Bush said, 'See, I knew you guys had weapons of mass destruction." --Conan O'Brien

"The man who threw his shoes at President Bush is being hailed as a hero in Iraq. In fact, when he dies, he'll be greeted in heaven by 72 podiatrists." --Conan O'Brien

What the HECK ????

WARNING !!!!!!!!!

CHECK THIS POST @ YOUR OWN RISK

If you are pregnant , weak @ heart , cant take sudden shocks,

also please scream or laugh to release the stress caused by this post.

What are you posing for ?

Bill Maher - Jokes on BHO

"It's official. For the next four years, it will be pronounced 'nuclear' [on screen: photo of Obama]." --Seth Meyers

"Americans have finally got beyond our racial past, and picked a black man to clean up our mess." -Bill Maher

"Did you see Obama's news conference today? Wow. I have to say, nice to see adults back in charge of government. The White House press corps, you could tell, they were ecstatic. It's been years since they've heard a complete sentence." -Bill Maher

Jimmy Kimmel - Jokes on OBAMA

"The only awkward moment was when Bush complimented Obama on his campaign. He said, 'You did a heck of a job, Brownie.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"I don't want to say that the Obamas are overly confident, but they've already agreed to let Oprah use their house in Chicago as a place to keep her dogs." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Barack Obama was joined on stage by Bruce Springsteen in Ohio on Sunday. There was one tense moment when somebody in the audience yelled out, 'Born in the USA!' And Obama said, 'For the last time, yes, damnit, I was!" --Jimmy Kimmel

David Letterman - Jokes on BARACK

"Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. So far, he's got his mother-in-law, who is going to be living with him, and they are talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. You have your mother-in-law and Hillary Clinton. Sounds like smooth sailing to me." --David Letterman

"Everybody is kind of making up and getting back together. Senator McCain and President-elect Barack Obama met, got together and had a nice visit. And Barack Obama thanked McCain for choosing that nutty Alaskan chick. And then Barack Obama said to McCain, Hey, I'm catching up with you. I just got a second home." --David Letterman

"There was a little confusion at the meeting there at the White House when President Bush was told that Obama was coming. He said 'Oh, you mean we caught him?'" --David Letterman

"And how about last night, when Barack Obama had his half hour infomercial TV special. I mean, thank God! It's about time this guy got some media coverage, don't you think?" --David Letterman

"But I thought it was one of those heartwarming infomercials. It had a wonderful ending. In the final scene Barack Obama is adopted by Angelina Jolie." --David Letterman

"Ladies and gentlemen, Barack Obama is our new president. And I think I speak for most Americans when I say, anybody mind if he starts a little early?" --David Letterman

Connon O'Brien - Jokes on Barack Hussain ObAmA!!!!!!!

"Oprah Winfrey just announced that she's planning to attend Barack Obama's inauguration. Oprah says she's very excited to see Obama become the second-most powerful person in the world." --Conan O'Brien

"Last night, after Barack Obama was declared the winner, President Bush called Obama, promised to work with him to guarantee a smooth transition. Yeah. Yeah, when we heard this, Obama said, 'Thanks, but you've done enough.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Oprah Winfrey says she plans to attend Barack Obama's election night rally in Chicago. So win or lose, Obama is going home with a new car." --Conan O'Brien

"Barack and Michelle Obama are looking for a church in Washington to attend. Apparently, the Obamas ask every prospective pastor the same question: 'Have you ever been videotaped screaming 'God damn America!'?" --Conan O'Brien

Accountant Jokes

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor."Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

When you ask a housewife, accountant, and lawyer what 2 2 is, what do they give you?
The housewife says "Four."
The accountant says "It's either three or four, let me run it through my spreadsheet again."
The lawyer closes the shutters, turns down the lights, and whispers "What do you want it to be?"

Jay Leno late Night Jokes about Barack Obama

Late Night Show - The Tonight SHOW with JAYYYYYYYYYYY Leno!!!!!!!!!

Here is a collection of some jokes in Barack Obama.

ENjoyyyyyyyyyy

"According to recent news reports, Bill Clinton has now become an adviser to Barack Obama. Bill Clinton is giving advice to Barack Obama. Do you know who is really upset about this? Michelle Obama." --Jay Leno

"And, of course, it was a huge celebration over at Barack Obama headquarters, otherwise known as MSNBC." --Jay Leno

"You know, do you realize this is our first black president since the first season of '24'?" --Jay Leno

"And people were worried about the Bradley effect. Apparently, it was not nearly as strong as the Bush effect." --Jay Leno

"See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I'm gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"The show was very well done. I got to admit, I especially liked the end, where Barack rose to the heavens on a cloud. Wasn't that unbelievable?" --Jay Leno

"After his big speech in North Carolina today, Senator Joe Biden said he was experiencing a sore throat and lost his voice. Boy, the good news doesn't stop for Barack Obama. Just one lucky break after another." --Jay Leno

"Earlier this evening, Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial appeared on three of the major networks. ... Now, if you didn't see it, one part was a little odd. At the end, Barack said, 'If you vote now, we'll throw in a set of steak knives and a can of Oxiclean.'" --Jay Leno

"Today in Chicago, for the first time since the election, John McCain sat down with President-elect Barack Obama. Pretty impressive. Obama agreed to sit down and talk to McCain without any preconditions. When Sarah Palin heard about McCain meeting with Obama, she accused McCain of palling around with terrorists." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. See, Joe Biden was right. 'Hostile forces will test him in the first few months.'" --Jay Leno

"President-elect Barack Obama is still looking for a new White House dog. The search is on. In fact, do you realize he has spent more time selecting a dog than John McCain did selecting a running mate?" --Jay Leno

"President Bush briefed President-elect Obama on the state of the nation this week. You know, look, I don't want to say things look bad, but Barack Obama's new slogan? 'Maybe We Can.'" --Jay Leno

"Hey, I watched 'American Idol' last night, the Barack Obama show. Did you all see Barack Obama’s infomercial? It was called 'American Stories.' You know why they called it 'American Stories'? I guess it sounded better than 'Barack Obama Running Out the Clock.'" --Jay Leno

Blonde Joke

A blonde woman goes to the doctor and complains that her whole body is aching. She touches her knee and says: "Ouch! That hurt". She then touches her elbow which evokes yet another painful response. She then touches her ear and complains that it is sensitive too. The doctor then examines her and says: "Well, Madam, I am sure that will be the case - your finger is broken."

9 Medical Myth's

We use only 10% of our brains
We all use all of our brain. This myth is commonly thought to be due to a misquotation of Albert Einstein or a misinterpretation of Pierre Flourens (from the 1800s). In modern operating theatres, neurosurgeons carefully map the brain before removing tissue during operations (for example for epilepsy or tumours) to ensure that essential areas of the brain are not damaged.

Sugar makes children hyperactive
Many credible scientific trials have examined how children react to diets containing different levels of sugar and not one study has detected differences in behaviour between the children who had sugar and those who did not. This includes sugar from sweets, chocolate and natural sources. Scientists have also studied parents and determined that, when parents think children have been given a drink containing sugar (even if it is really sugar-free) they tend to rate their children’s behaviour as more hyperactive.

Hangover cures
We all swear by one, or know someone who does. We all have a secret, anecdotal, family-hand-me-down guaranteed, hangover cure, or know someone who does. They're all wrong. Every last guaranteed one of them. There is no known hangover cure.

You lose most of your body heat through your head
This myth has been traced to a US army survival manual from 1970 which said that a hat should be worn when it is cold because "40 to 45 percent of body heat" is lost from the head. It isn't. The best scientific evidence is that up to 10 per cent of body heat can be lost through the head.

The incidence of suicides increases during holiday periods
Not true. One study from Japan that looked at suicides over 16 years showed that the rate of suicide was lowest in the days before a holiday and highest in the days after the holiday. Another study in the US of suicides over a 35-year period concluded no increase before, during or after holiday periods. The study results are different, but they agree on one thing: the incidence of suicide does not increase during holiday periods.

People should drink at least eight glasses of water a day
Professor emeritus of physiology at Dartmouth Medical School, Heinz Valtin, among others, reports no supporting evidence for this popular myth. Professor Valtin, a kidney specialist, believes the idea may stem from a US Food and Nutrition Board of the National Research Council recommendation that humans consume "1 milliliter of water for each calorie of food" ingested. This would amount to between 64 and 80 fluid ounces a day. In its next sentence, the board stated, "Most of this quantity is contained in prepared foods," but the second sentence may have been ignored over time.

Hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
This is an optical illusion. It is caused by dessication of the skin in death. As the skin dries out, it recedes, giving the appearance that nails and hair are getting longer. They're not - the skin is shrinking. This myth is the subject of a quip by US television personality Johnny Carson, who said, "For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."

Shaving hair causes it to grow back faster, darker, or coarser
If you have never shaved your legs, the hair on them is fine and soft. Shave that off, and what grows back is immediately hard and scratchy, right? Right, and there is the cause of the myth. The scratchiness is natural as the hair is short. It will be the same each time you shave. Once hair grows back fully, it will the fine and soft again, just as before. This is the same for all hair, be it on men's faces or on women's legs.

Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight

Dim lighting can cause stress in the eye, but the effects will not be permanent. According to studies by Rachel C Vreeman, a fellow in children’s health services, and Aaron E Carroll, an assistant professor of paediatrics, "Suboptimal lighting can create a sensation of having difficulty in focusing. It also decreases the rate of blinking and leads to discomfort from drying. The important counterpoint is that these effects do not persist."

British Medical Journal, www.bmj.com, www.dailymail.co.uk, www.guardian.co.uk, www.news-medical.net, www.sciencedaily.com, American Journal of Physiology, www.snopes.com

Enjoy Your Coffee

A group of alumni got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, THAT is the source of your

problems and stress."

"Be assured that the cup itself adds no real quality to the coffee. In most cases, it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each other's cups."

"Now consider this: Life is the coffee. . .and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups.
They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live.
Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups . . . enjoy your coffee."